Diary time

13/11
After a restless night I have awoken still scared and nervous. Julie and I have discussed nearly all aspects of my looming chastity and I love her to bits and do trust her deep down to look after me but im still so very nervous. We ordered the cb3000 Friday night and it has set my mind racing all weekend, its really brought things to life and im slowly realizing that I may have bitten off more than I can chew! I guess we’ll have to see. My deepest worry is that I wont get enough release which although is clearly part of the game I worry that over time if I don’t make love to my wife often enough it could end up eating away at me. The main reason I want to do this is to become a better person and deny myself the ability to masturbate. I believe this will leave me more focused in general and attentive to Julie’s needs. Julie is a wonderful person and incredibly sexy and we already enjoy an amazing if not a somewhat filthy sexlife but something she said to me last night has served to increase my nervous state. We normally make love around 10-15 times per month – sometimes more and some times less depending on our moods and I ALWAYS initiate things. Last night we talking about my being locked up and I mentioned that it will be difficult knowing that whilst she has her period, I will certainly not be having any release – but she then went on to say that to be honest I may have to wait a couple of weeks after her period as this is when she really gets horny and hungry for cock. This has seriously disturbed me. I am just not sure if I could ever make do with only being released once or twice a month. Im hoping that this wont be the case and that she will still love my cock just as much as she always has and that sex will still be a very regular part of our lives. I don’t feel I can talk about this with Julie as it is not my place to start looking for rules so I have started to write this diary as I need someone to talk too!!

15/11
Well my nerves have got an awful lot better now! We (well me actually_ decided that rather than wait for the CB3000 to turn up that we would start my training now! I wear a pa piercing and we also have a cock ring that Julie enjoys me wearing for the stronger erections it produces! So I bought a padlock and locked my self away. Its not very comfortable and although locked I could if I really wanted to remove it all and I am to worried about potential damage to wear it at night. Although this does nothing in terms of real chastity or control for Julie, it has helped me already become more focused. Its really weird but when im locked away I feel very safe and trusting in my wife - its when im unrestrained that my head starts playing tricks on me. to be honest I think all the stories I have read about this from others is what has left me all over the place so I am not going to research this subject any more, ive discussed this with jules and she is in total agreement with me that I must relax, trust her and enjoy our own unique experience.

16/11
Checked the wicked wench site and the order status is still “order acknowledged” so we still have no idea when the device is going to turn up. I find this frustrating I think it’s the not knowing that heightens everything and in a weird way it making me long for its arrival? Various attempts at locking myself away meanwhile are fun but doesn’t actually prepare me for what I will feel when Julie finally gets the key, I really cant imagine that one – I think it will be unique for everyone. I love seeing jules this turned on, haven’t seem this side of her for a while and its wonderful. Mind you this side of her has probably always been there maybe sometimes I need my eyes opening? After experimenting with using my PA as a locking point led me to some very interesting websites  and has given birth to a mad design I now have in my head, I drew from allsorts of other designs and now have the finished product (in my head) and I think jules will love it. I intend to sort out the little things like hygiene!! And make this much easier to wear for prolonged periods, and because I intend to utilize my own cock and a secure padlock it will give Julie 100% security !! I don’t think any plastic cage, or any other type of cage come to that, can ever truly do this as at the end of the day a hack saw will cut through most things. So if we both like this after a trial in the CB3000 then I will present her with my masterpiece and hand her the key to my cock for ever! Its late I should go back to bed now 
Arrgghhh just remembered that I have to go to the docs tomorrow to have a 10 year old piles problem looked at – I really don’t want to do this but Julie has told me that if I don’t, she will take me down there locked up for the doctor to see me – I aint havin that!!

27/11 – 4.30 am
Well what a mad few days it has been. The docs was ok in the end and I now have to wait for a letter from the hospital to go see a consultant – lucky him! Theres still no sign of the cb3000 and I suppose I am chomping at the bit and cant get it all out of my head so to speak. During this time me and jules have been talking loads and I have become very comfortable with the direction we are going, I no longer worry that she will suddenely turn in to a dominant mistress! Neither of us want that, we just want lots of fun and for me to become a better person re letter/contract to jules “acceptance”. Ive written a lots to jules and she has been brilliant and patient with me all the way. I think she cant wait to lock me up and it really could be any day now – I bought a steel chastity cage thingy from a local manufacturer and over the last couple of days I have been modifying it to make it comfortable and 100% secure. And I am finally there!! Jules is asleep and I am going to put it back on after ive written this and sttempt my first nights sleep in it – only plastis ties of course!

New experiences galore!! When I first put the metal cage (mc) on I was amazed at how comfortable it felt – to look at it looked kind of vicious – but in for a penny in for a pound!the first day I was to scared to even have an erection and I took it off before making love to jules and holding her whilst she drifted off to sleep. But the next night (yesterday) well we went to bed with me still wearing it and jules decided to have a little teeze – it was the maddest thing – my bell end and about a cm of shaft grew out of the end of the tube and enlarged to full size whilst the rest of my cock was trapped in the curved metal tube – this means that she can proper drive me whild and because the tube bends down there is no way out full stop! The sensation of her soft lips against my glans was amazing and so very frustrating all rolled into one, the thing that left me really worried was that it caused me no pain whatsoever and Julie really liked this torture!

Before I put my self away, and go try for the experience of waking up all confined – im dreading it!! But know I have to get past this bit.. ive got to say what another new experience tonight was!! I used my thumb on Julie just the way she likes it for about 2 hours and she was soaking I think she came quite a few times (bit chuffed withmeself) then we used a free gift that came with the mc. Its called a battering ram and couldn’t find any info on the net about it so it all felt very mysterious, any way its another cockring based type of toy that made my orgasm feel the most extreme it has ever felt kind of naughty but very nice! Again the confinement with in it whilst erect is absolute and I was nervous all night that it would really hurt me but it didn’t!!!! brilliant – I think this one is more of “my” toy than jules’s as whilst mega mad for me I think that because of the restriction j she actually ends up with less cock – I just hope that she sees fit to let me use it again once in a while!!

Last thing – I have made a resolution to get my act together with a dictaphone – I really want to capture this whole experience but finding time to write and being a pretty slow typist!! Makes it difficult.

Logged off, shut pc down, then decided to write a bit more down! At the moment I see this as my personal space somewhere I can talk without restriction – almost therapy I guess!! Any way please don’t be upset if your reading jules, but tonight before I put the battering ram on I couldn’t get it up for you at the required time!! And I wish I could make you see how much you could help in that direction!!! Ive told you stuff before and I didn’t want to say anything tonight as I know that I sometimes do your head in!! I think that what I need will probably come naturally anyway when I am under your lock but if not I will have to risk offending you and talk to you again!!! Im always horny for you babe but some times I am so focused on you ie the 2 hours of thumb without knowing if I was going to get to have my own release, can leave my cock tense and nervous and I will already have gine through several erections whilst turning you on – all this simply means that I cant just stand to attention when you demand it!! Sometimes – most of the time I think I can- its just sometimes when I don’t you could really help – you know I get turned on by all the sexy chat we have but that’s mainly when my cock is buried inside you, when giving you my thumb, I know you go to a private place and that you like me to be quiet and enjoy it – I don’t mind this one little bit just be patient with me when you do decide you want my cock – sorry actually you are always patient and you always get it in the end – twice eventually tonight I might add  but if after all that quiet time for me I need my imagination fueled by you to have a better chance of delivering my cock rock hard and straining for you when you want it you now what turns me on like if you had told me that you might as well just lock me up if im going to stay limp or im definitely going to have to get some fresh cock, I need to feel a good hard cock inside me and I will make you watch all locked up!! That would have done the trick!!!! Doesn’t matter weather you mean it or not its just all horny – all good!!!

27/11 7.30pm

Well that was all brilliant!! My cock is a little sore from the restrained erections but ive now survived my first restrained morning glory !! I think this was a major psychological barrier to break through as I now know I can do it!! I think Julie really enjoyrd it as well as when she woke in my arms, I knew that she was tired and not really up for our normal rampant Sunday morning sessions, but she loved me spooning her and satisfying her with my thumb! At the time it caused me severe discomfort inside my mc but after we had eventually got up and all was well again and my cock was just nice and comfy – it felt really brilliant knowing I had satisfied my wife exactly how and when she wanted - truly putting her needs before my own is a wonderful feeling – and I really have to admit that my last few orgasms are definatley much much stronger and longer so there must be something in all the hype ive read about giving up masturbation, I love it.

Going to try wearing the mc all night again tonight – this is probably going to hurt a lot more than this morning as I was really turned on this morning without release and I know were just going to have a cuddle tonight so I anticipate a maybe bruised bellend in the morning and ive told jules that I might have to go a day or 2 without wearing it after tonight – shes fine with that but I just hope I manage to avoid temptation!! Never mind im sure my cock will recover and get used to it all quite quickly and then I suspect Julie will do away with the plastic ties and put the lock on!! That’s going to be a very interesting day indeed!

29/11
Well, an interesting couple of days! I couldn’t wear the mc the other night after all – when I went for a shower, I noticed that the bolt that I had put through the end of the tube was a bad decision! It was zinc plated and caused a bad reaction to the tip of my foreskin. It wasn’t to bad and a night with some savalon soon fixed it but a lesson learned indeed. Any way, that night jules got her period and my cock was a bit sore and covered in cream so sex was not on the agenda – even though I was feeling horny as hell. I wanted to make jules feel special and loved so at bedtime, I surprised her and brought a few towels, bowl of hot water, her sponge and some femfresh up to the bed room. She loved it, and spent about an hour with my thumb. I turned the lights out for her and kept as quiet as I could, and I think she really liked being brought to orgasm running free in her OWN fantasy world! I felt really close to my wife and it felt amazing sharing something so special with her, it was like she was “letting me in”. when she was satisfied, I washed her and then cuddled her until she fell asleep – it was lovely.

It totally confirmed my decision to pursue this road and see what happens as this was the first time for a long time that I satisfied my wife whilst on her period. In our early days we used to just ignore her periods and carry on regardless but for the simple sake of the “mess” we don’t usually bother with each other at these times. So tonight was a total bonus!

Yesterday, I wore the mc all day again and was still wearing it when we went to bed. I was quite uncomfortable by then after having to suppress many erections. I held Julie in my arms and could feel the mc touching her ass – my cock was straining with jealousy!! I offered to repeat the bowl and towel adventure, and of course she smiled and said that would be lovely! By now, I reckoned on having pleasured Julie for around 4 hours altogether since my last orgasm Saturday night – so my cock was going ballistic all confined in the mc – I was feeling very frustrated but chanelled all my energies into julie’s satisfaction. After I had satisfied her for about half an hour, the most amazing thing happened; Julie asked me if I wanted to be let out – of course I said yes. She slowly masturbated me until I was hard and then she started sucking my cock, I thought she was teasing me and expected her to stop and lock me away again or worse, make me finish myself off into a glass and make me drink it!! But she didn’t! she told me I could cum and within seconds I did!! I came loads and Julie took it all into her mouth and swallowed the lot – I couldn’t believe my eyes, she totally blew me away, I couldn’t move and was left speechless! Julie has probably only ever done this maybe 2 or 3 times in all our years together!! Its never been an issue because she more than makes up for it in allsorts of other ways and ive always put it down to simply not liking the taste and I respect that. She always been happy sucking me but its only really been as part of foreplay and that’s always been fine. But for Julie to do this for me whilst being on her period, well gobsmacked just doesn’t some it up enough! The only way it could have been any better would have been if she had let me tske off my cock ring aswell! You see something I am only just beginning to realize, is that in some way I have been chastised and putting Julies orgasm before my own for many years. I have a pa piercing and wear all sorts of jewllery in it for jules’ pleasure and I often wear a steel cock ring. The cock ring delivers amazing erections for jules whilst giving me some discomfort – the pressure builds up on your balls. Also julies favorite pa piece is a 4mm curved bar bell with a 12mm ball on each end. The bar part of it is about 2mm short of what it needs to be and can become a little painful during sex. The bar part also reduces the size of the urethal opening. So basically when I cum like this, the build up can be immense, long, painful and strong, but once the cum has started to “flow” so to speak, the orgasm kind of blows itself out because it hurts and I simply cant squirt it out quickly enough to maintain the sensation of a strong orgasm – it just kind of goes pop! I guess im kind of kinky because I love it all the same, it just sometimes leaves me aching to make love to Julie with no metal!! This is and always will be my most pleasureable way to cum and often I will make love with Julie all night whilst restricting my own orgasm until she is fully satisfied, but by then its sort of about me and ive already cum maybe 3 or 4 times and im pretty well spent! So it never quite hits the spot. so the best case scenario for me to have my favorite orgasm is to make love to Julie with no metal and enjoy the sensation of her pussy on my cock with no pain or other distractions and I reckon we probably make love this way maybe 2-3 times a month and they are always wonderful experiences!! Even when Julie finally locks my cock up for the first time, I really think we will still have a very active sex life and I will still get to make love to jules lots and lots but with all the toys we already have and a few more that are in the pipeline I think I could end up going quite long spell between naked cock sessions – THIS is the true chastity part for me and I think Julie knows this

Oops, rambling again!! Back to last night: after telling jules how wonderful she is I held her again until she fell asleep. I was determined to wear the mc all night and manged to get it back on, I awoke about 4 or 5 times with painful erections and finally at about 6 am I went to the bathroom to check myself out – there was some friction type marks causing mild discomfort sort of on the underside of my shaft. I figured this must be where the metal tube was digging in and decided to give up wearing the mc to sleep until I resolve this issue – I have a feeling a cb2000 that ordered for Julie, in pink I might add!!, may turn up tomorrow!!

Im now sat in my hotel room after attending a works thing, been cool actually – went clay pigeon shooting for the first time, and I am about to go to bed; I cant believe that I haven’t masturbated for about 5 or 6 days and I honestly believe I can go to bed now, think of my lovely wife and leave myself alone! This will be a first, ever. Even though there will be nothing to stop me, I just feel that after last night, I owe it to Julie to keep myself for her until SHE needs me again. It would feel sort of like cheating her if I masturbated tonight – so im not going to. Now the morning, well that’s a different matter altogether!! Only joking!!

30/11
Cant believe it! I actually managed to go the whole night without touching myself!! Another first experience!! Im now round the flat having picked up my brand new shiny pink cb2000!! Ive put it on and just cant believe how comfortable it is, if I had had the patience I could have saved my bits from all that hassle ive put them through over the last couple of weeks but hey ho!! It feels real weird because with all the other stuff including the mc, I had it in the back of my mind that because it caused discomfort and sometimes hurt me I was in control in so much that I felt justified in taking it off – now I don’t!! Im picking Julie up from work later but she will have to wait till later for her surprise as my dad is coming to tea!!! Also, julies cb3000, my triple cock ring and gates of hell have all turned up today!! Once the kids are in bed and my dad has gone it could be an interesting night – certainly this weekend could be a bit mad!!!

2/12
Oh boy!!
Well my dad never left until about 10.45pm the other night so by the time we went to bed, jules was proper knackered and just wanted to get a good nights sleep!! I was so frustrated. I wore the cb3 to bed and experienced my first real restrained erection and boy did that hurt – I got all paranoid that I had broken him!! After that I had to take it off – by now jules was asleep – I went down stairs and waited for the pain to go. I then masturbated – I was gutted after as I felt I had betrayed jules and I didn’t confess as I didn’t want to make her angry!! 2am I put the cb3 back on and went back to bed. I managed to fall asleep but each time I awoke between 1 and 2 hours later with a very uncomfortable feeling between my legs – but nothing as bad as that first time – maybe my cock is learning?

I wore it again all day yesterday and by the time we went to bed I was positively dripping in pre cum! I gave Julie a back massage followed by a session with my thumb, she reached the point where she was crying out to feel my cock inside her but when I told her it would take me a couple of mins to get out of the cb3 and then get re-aroused – she told me to forget it and carry on with my thumb – I did!! My cock was trying to swell all through this and Julie seemed to take pleasure from my predicament! After satisfying her with my thumb, she then wanted my cock for which I was extremely grateful, but she did make me wear my steel cock ring and her favorite pa bar so although I had great sex – I couldn’t actually feel my orgasm so it left me very frustrated. I wanted to take all the metal off and make love to her with my naked cock so that I could experience the pleasureable sensation of cumming deep inside my wife. Of course I respect my wife needs so rather than push this issue and risk upsetting her – I held her and watched as she drifted off to sleep.

I slept without wearing the cb3 or any thing else round my cock and when I awoke, I was horny as hell and felt an overwhelming desire to masturbate to get the relief that I crave – I didn’t want to be weak, so before taking jules to work, I told her the way that I was feeling, she appreciated my honesty, put the lock on and took the keys with her to work!!!
It feels totally different than plastic ties as although I haven’t been taking it off at will I always had that option – now I don’t – feels mad!! Im going to try and keep myself as busy as I can: A. because I need to take my mind off it and prevent to much discomfort and B. because I want to make Julie happy so that she may take it off me later!!

4/12 midnight Sunday

Amazing weekend!!
When Julie got home from work and she could see what I had done for her – some shopping, cleaning and ironing – she told me I was a goodboy!!i liked that. That night, I pleasured her and eventually she allowed me to make love to her, it was awesome!! She let me leave it off to sleep and then she locked it back on before we went shopping.

I took it off for a shower Saturday night and that was a welcome break!! I made love to her after a lot of cuddling and stroking but she mad me wear the battering ram and her fave pa. well I say made but I did offer!! This hurt quite a lot but the was no way I could stop as I was loving it at the same time and craving my orgasm. I came but again this restricted orgasm failed to hit the spot!! but was very nice anyway!! About 15 mins later she let me take her with my naked cock – it was feeling a little battered and bruised and her warm soft pussy felt amazing.i enjoyed this orgasm very very much but I was a little knackered and sore to prper enjoy it. I then gave Julie about an hour of my thumb to show my appreciation.

She locked me in again Sunday morning after I had showered I am still locked up without release tonight despit Julie enjoying my thumb!! And right now I don’t know when I will next get any – it feels mad. I really want to go for it this week but at the same time I don’t want to get on julies nerves, so we are playing a game with timelock. Its very simple she has written a message decideing my fate tomorrow night and timelock has encrypted it until 10 pm tommorow and I have no idea what she has written but I have promised that I will play by the rules and wait for timelock to open and follow her instruction even if it is simply to remain locked up whilst she leaves me another note for another 24 hours!!

Any way the sex aside, I am really enjoying learning more and more about my gorgeous wife – I don’t think I fully realized what a distraction my cock is!! Im now paying a lot more attention to her and this is beginning to lead to a greater understanding of the person I want to spend the rest of my life with 

6/12
Im falling in love with my wife all over again! Entering into this life style is the best decision I have ever made. I am starting to really get to know jules on another level and we are constantly discovering new things about each other. In some ways it feels like we are having a secret affair with each other - mad!
Yesterday morning, Julie phoned in sick and we both went back to bed, Julie mad good use of my thumb before unlocking me and taking my naked cock – it was a wonderful feeling, I could really feel my orgasm and it was simply delicious. 10m mins after I had cum, jules led there gently stroking me hard again and then rapidly brought me to orgasm by hand – another rarity! It was great to see the look on her face as I still came loads. I can really notice the difference in the strength of my erections and orgasm scince losing the ability to masturbate. And Julie is certainly feeling the benefits!

My note in timelock last night was “who knows? make me an offer.” So I offered her a massage followed by my thumb and then my naked cock, she liked my offer and we had another lovely evening, I have never felt so close to my wife! I put the cb3 back on afterwards and tried once more to go through the night, I awoke through discomfort at 3 am – managed to regain control and then slept to 5.45 am – it was too much by now and I caved in and unlocked myself. I put it back on as soon as I got up and Julie has locked the keys away and gone to work so I have no choice but to remain locked until tonight when I will see her next note/instruction. I think that due to the amount of sex we have been having, that she may want a night off tonight – that will make it harder to get to sleep that’s for sure!!

9th dec fri night/sat morning

Well its now been a whole week that I have not been out of julies sight unlocked!! All in all its been an exciting week for both of us! We are still having lots of sex which is great but I spend most of my time locked up now. I had my first shower locked up and protected the lock with clingfilm. Its was a humble experience but I did get everything nice and clean I have also now survived 24 hours locked up so I have told Julie that I consider my self trained in terms of getting the right size ring and spacers etc and that I can get through the night with it on – she rubbed her hands in glee!! She is going to her party tomorrow night and im picking her up when she phones me to take her back to the flat – were planning a major session but I still cant help worry that she may “forget” her key – ill be gutted!!

Sat night/sun morning

Well she didn’t forget the key!! She had a great time at he party and when we got back to the flat we chatted until about 4am!! 4 hours of chatting to my wife – its great. It seems like Julie is slowly taking over and im enjoying seeing the spark in her eyes!! In some ways even though its only been all kind of fun so far and im getting plenty of release, it feels like our sex life has already changed and that there is no turning back!! Julie is really getting into my thumb now my cock doesn’t keep getting in the way – in fact im getting to know her pussy so well with my thumb and satisfy her in a totally different way to before that im beginning to realize that I could end up locked away quite a lot! Maybe more than I even realize. I don’t think I will ever ever regret it though!! Weve talked so much and we have always had a great sex life and neither of us feel as though we are entering into a sub/dom lifestyle – we both simply know that my little cock will always perform better now I have cut out my 3 or 4 wanks per day! We have always been scenario sex addicts mainly led by my cock and its desires and we have always had many adventures where I like to call the twilight zone and we both see this as a new and exciting adventure with Julie controlling my cock allowing us to do things her way now!! But yes – I think we may go to our twilight zone from time to time where there will possibly be some roleplay expected of me and I will always comply. The amount of sex thaqt Im used too makes it difficult to imagine going a week without release let alone say a month or more but again I have told Julie that from an experience point of view I know I will love something like that once in a while whilst hating it at the exact same excited time!! Any way enough for now,

Jules finally let me out and had me put on my teardrop cock ring and her new pa dragon fly jewllery. It hurt but iwas pretty desperate by then as julie had been teasing me al night by dangling the key in fronmt of me but not allowing me to touch it!!she even let me cum inside her though I was hurting and restrained so much I couldn’t feel my cum. After further satisfying her with my thumb I then took her with out the cock ring on and just before I was about to cum again, she made me put my cage back on – it hurts. I thought she was going to go to sleep but oh no, she then decided that she wanted my thumb for another half hour – man did my cock hurt, I was so jealous of my thumb right then, she had locked up a very nice erection in favor of my thumb! Well that told me!

Oh man no sleep for me, taking my cock from Julies pussy and locking him back up before cumming was the hardest thing to date!! Were playing with some fun timelock software and the combination to a locked box holding my key has been encypted – I have one and a half hours to go then I am allowed to waken my mistress!

Its really mad, julie has always got off on my imagination and where it has taken us but it used to be all about what I and my cock wanted – now she still seems to love my imagination as it now takes on the form of fuelling her own thoughts for fun ideas and games!! I so love jules and im really enjoying slowly sinking into her ways.

Transaction #: VKMA0E636563
Subscription #: 20051211113746-30531-3

12/12

The fun and games begin
Well this is a fucking tough night!!
Last night jules tormented my cock for ages until it was really hurting – I knda liked the pain at the time-then she unlocked me so I could sleep easy. I was good and didn’t even touch myself but iwas really frustrated!!
Tonight, when I was going for my shower, she produced her key and unlocked me telling me I could have a really good clean – I proper thought my luck was in as my cock was free and had had a good clean already today sp I assumed she wanted it clean for her – how fucking wrong was i? she made me put it on again after my shower but I still felt confident as the key was in her pocket and made it an easy option, so maybe she would just tease me a little and I might get some action? Not a fucking chance!
She had me thumb her to orgasm after locking her key away in her little box! This is a whole new experience for me – the first time I have gone 2 nights without so much as a decent ercection let alone a fucking orgasm!! Right now I have no idea if I like this or not!! My head is playing all sorts of tricks on me and I don’t like it! We talked lots before we got the device and I was extremely confident through her reassurance that she loved my cock and I always make her want it!! That’s certainly been the case through out our marriage. Now though I seem to have gotten so good at pleasing her with my thumb that she really doesn’t seem to want it!! I feel like ive totally fucked up as I still really crave the feeling of having my cock in her pussy. I don’t want to really cut down the amount of times that happens – ive even bought her loads ofnew metal cock toys recently but one go then its back to the fucking thumb!! Shes never actually requested any of them at all!! She just wants my thumb!! I hope I haven’t bitten off more than I casn chew? I thought julie was really on board with the fact that simply cutting out all my masturbating and knowing that I was under her lock and key would be enough for her but no, she seems to want to really deny my orgasm. Well this is all new to me so I will just have to see how it all goes. One thing I have proper proper learnt tonight is that from now on im keeping my gob well and truly shut – I have always loved talking dirty with julie and sharing my fantasys in the vane hope that it turns her on – but now its just leaving me feeling worse when im left with all these images inmy head and no fucking release!! Its no fucking good so im going to have to start counting sheep or something stupid when shes in the mood for my thumb!!

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck what the fuck am I doing?

Man I should never have gotten so good with my thumb. I cant believe im beginning to resent my thumb. Its ridiculous.

It seems pointless even fantasizing now? It just gets me all worked up and horny, then sore and irritated, frustrated and feeling shitty, so whats the fucking point? If I cant share my fantasys with my darling lovely wife then it all seems so pointless? I just want to make my wife happy but I want orgasms as well?

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck